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Juan Esparza Rebecca Plevin Daniel Cásarez Olivia Ruiz Irene Rodriguez Cynthia Moreno Community Health Fellowship

Attention mujeres watching the Super Bowlavatar

with one comment

Oye mujer, if you are going to be watching Sunday’s Super Bowl with your significant other, there’s still time to remember some tips about appropriate etiquette. If you have a main squeeze, it appears you already know about the DO’s.

Here are the DON’Ts:

1. Do not invite your mother over to share her story of how she could have married Ricardo Montalbán. That story is old!!!! … and cannot grab your sweetie’s attention away from the Cardinals or Steelers cheer gals!

2. Do not interrupt the game by saying, “Which one is Lebron James?” Sunday is no time to start learning abou the intricacies of the sport.

3. Do not suggest your sweetie run down to the store in the fourth quarter of a tight game to pick you up a box of chocolates! Valentine’s Day is not that far away, so don’t get your chones in a bunch!

4. Do not mention your fellow’s vow to go on a diet. Super Bowl Sunday is a day for excesses, and this being America, gosh, don’t ruin the celebration of food, drink and merriment.

5. Do not invite your good-for-nothing brother over for the game. If your honey’s favorite team (the one he put down $100 grocery money on) is losing badly, it’s a foregone conclusion your brother will be on the receiving end of a 50-yard field goal attempt.

6. Do not remind him that you signed up for those expensive ball room lessons (which you finally got him to agree to. ‘Dancing With the Stars’ is still a few weeks away, and there’s no need for you to think your man is the second coming of Warren Sapp or Mario López.

7. Do not go into your “Why don’t you pay any attention to me?” mode. During the game, he will be more interested in paying attention to the point spread, his squares in the office football pool, and his supply of beer. He’s a man … he can’t divide his attention. (Mini tip to men: “Honey, you deserve my complete attention … as soon as this game is over.”)

8. Do not try to mimick the team’s cheerleaders. They are professionals who have practiced hundreds of hours to do their job. You are bound to hurt yourself.

9. Do not serve quiche, diet drinks or rice cakes. This is American gluttony to the extreme after all. You don’t want your man ridiculed the next day at the office. “Hey Juan, your wife made some mean quiche.” or “José, thanks man, I think I lost 3-5 pounds.”

10. Do not expect your schmoopy to take down those Christmas lights, mow the lawn or walk the dog. That’s what your kids are for.

Written by Juan Esparaza

January 30th, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Posted in Juan Esparza

One Response to 'Attention mujeres watching the Super Bowl'

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  1. From one mujer to otros mujeres: Check out sports journalist Frank Deford’s commentary on men’s love for football. At least this journalist recognizes that mens’ love for football is not just a passion – it’s a craze-inducing seasonal disorder :)

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94425142

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    Rebecca Plevin

    30 Jan 09 at 5:15 pm

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